Set Boundaries: Improve your Creativity

Hey there, and welcome back!

Thank you for stopping by for this week’s blog post. I’m going to get into my progress update, and any adjustments I’ve made. First, I want to dive into this weeks topic: Boundaries.

But how do Boundaries fit into writing? What do they have to do with NanoWriMo and Preptober?

Well, great question and thank you for asking!

So last week I dove into calendar blocking, being realistic with your time, and letting your friends and family know what you’re doing for support.
All of which are great, but they have a key component that is absolutely necessary for success. That is setting boundaries, and enforcing them.

I’m so excited to talk about this because this is one of those days where my mission comes together. Emotional intelligence and the creative world working together to give you the best environment possible to output your creative babies into the world.

Once you’ve set aside time as “designated writing time.” You’ve created a sort of boundary that needs to be respected.

First, you need to hold yourself to the boundary. You’ve set aside the time, as a commitment and promise to yourself that this is when you will work on your project. Can you move things around and change the time? Absolutely! The point isn’t about the specific time. The point is about honoring your promise to yourself, and honoring your goals.

If you’re like me you may suffer from people pleasing. People pleasing is when you often put the needs and desires of others ahead of your own. You don’t want to look back on your life and realize that maybe years have passed you by doing things to make others happy and watching them progress while your progress is lacking. Having a big heart is a good thing, and helping others is wonderful. However, sacrificing your happiness and breaking your back to the point where you are left exhausted and without your own projects being completed does not need to happen.

This is why setting a boundary, respecting it, and enforcing it is so important.

So let’s dig into some tips on how to set yourself up for success, so you can set boundaries efficiently and effectively.

The first thing you need to do when you set aside time to work on your project, and set this time boundary is ask yourself this: Why is this important to me?

Got your answer?
Okay, now let’s take it even deeper: Is what I’m doing a necessity in my life?

Now that’s a bit weirder of a question. But it brings up a good point. Is it necessary?

Personally, I work a full time job, and that is necessary in order to pay my rent, to eat, and to basically sustain my life here. So what about writing is necessary to me?

For me, its necessary because when I don’t write I’m thinking about it all day. It calls out to me until I get the story on the page. I like to call it “getting it out if my head.” It’s necessary because I want to be a full time author one day. My dream goal is to write and travel the world.
That big goal is not possible without setting aside time to actually write.

So figure out your reason why its important to you, and a necessity. This will help you when it comes time to set and enforce a boundary. It will give you something to lean back on, and hold onto. This isn’t for you to give as an excuse to others, but for you to know in your mind, so you can keep pushing through.

Now that you have a time boundary, and your reason, comes the hardest part. Enforcing that boundary.

We all have people in our lives who think we are available at the drop of a hat. This doesn’t make them bad people. Perhaps they just have a lot to learn about boundaries themselves, and that’s okay. Regardless of the justification, you probably thought of someone who will call you without prior notice insisting on getting together and maybe make you feel bad about it, if you don’t go.
Or perhaps its a family member who waltzes into your writing space unannounced for a chat, while you’re writing.

Again, at the heart of it, they only want your attention and time.

But as we have just discussed writing is important to you, and you’ve set aside this specific time to work on it.

If you’re like me, your calendar is booked. From 7am until 10pm (sometimes 11pm, let’s be honest) I’m working on a project of some kind. So I dont often have time to go out, or for extended chats.

So let’s breakdown some helpful tips that you can use to enforce your writing time boundary:

1. Tell your friends and family what you’re doing.
This is so important. Communication will probably solve most of your problems. People who love and care about you and support your project will understand.

2. Set up time with them later.
I love this one. I use it all the time. If you’re in the middle of something, be honest about it. Tell them, “Hey, I’d love to chat but I’m in the middle of writing. I should wrap up around *insert time* Can I call you back then?”
And then make sure to call them back, or send a text asking if its still a good time to chat. This let’s them know that you want to give them your attention. Which most of us want to spend time with our loved ones, but perhaps it can wait an hour or two?

Sometimes, though it won’t be a good time in an hour or two. So you then may have to plan something down the road. I use my Google Calendar for a lot more than just M-F writing time. I also use it to plan family and friend activities. It helps me stay organized, and ensures that I make and keep those plans with them without double booking.

Sometimes, though, you’ve tried the first two steps, and still aren’t understand, or are being difficult. When the guilt trip starts, this is when step three comes in handy.

3. Be comfortable saying no.
This is the hardest one.
Sometimes, there is someone in your life who seems to care about you. They seem to support you. However, when you enforce your boundaries, they make you feel bad for it.

I’m sorry to be blunt, but that is not a healthy friend. They probably have a lot of learning to do themselves. To be blunt, it is not your job to coddle their every whim. Stick up for yourself, tell them this is important to you, and this is when you’re available, and if they don’t like it, so be it.

Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. That’s the hardest part about enforcing these boundaries. Sometimes, someone may walk out of your life. That’s okay.

There’s a saying I like “Those who matter won’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.” Its a tongue twister of a way to say that the people who support you will respect you enough to understand.

The time you spend on projects is sacred. It is an appointment with yourself that you can not cancel. Sometimes you have to move it around and be flexible, and that’s just life. That’s okay. However, there comes a time when you need to stick up for yourself in a self loving way and set up these boundaries. You will thank yourself later.

So I hope you got some good information and a new perspective today from this post. These are just a few of the main tips that I use a lot in my daily life. It can be hard at first, but it does get easier with practice. A companion video will be up later this week. I’m so excited to jump into another week of prepping for NanoWriMo.

If you made it to the end of this post here’s a little insert of my Preptober Progress:

Hey there, Preptober update! I managed to get everything done on my checklist for this week. I had to rearrange a few items, and learn to balance uploading videos, blog posting, along with outlining my novel. So, I predict this coming up week will go a lot smoother, and a lot less late nights! The world building was so much fun, and it’s getting me super excited to get into the writing that is only a few short weeks away! How is your preptober progress coming along?

Please chat with me in the comments and let me know what you thought of this weeks topic, and tell me how your writing projects are going!!

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