Update: Breastfeeding

So I wanted to provide an update. I decided to transition from breastfeeding to formula.

I said I would try to keep up with my journey regarding this and try to help others who might be going through the same thing.

To start, before I made the choice I went to a Facebook group I am part of. (As I’m typing this I realize this might have been the issue in the first place) It a Facebook group for moms that tend to go for more natural or non-toxic household products and foods.

Non-toxic is the key word, and a bit ironic.

I mentioned I was considering transitioning and wanted recommendations on formulas. I thought it might make me feel better to know that there were great formula options that are close to breastmilk for my daughter. I still want to be picky about what she eats, and I want it to be good for her.

Most people just commented their recommendation. Thank you to those people who understand my choice is none of their business. Just a mom, asking for a recommendation.

On the other hand, we had a few people who decided this would be the time to mom shame. And of course it was, right? Because for whatever reason women can’t just support each other. We constantly deal with our own emotions regarding adequacy, and in turn we deal with it from other women. Someone always has something clever to say about how they are right and you are wrong.

This may just be a human flaw in general. It drives me nuts! I’ve always supported other women, and tried to be a friend, a listening ear, and supportive. Whats the point in being anything else? We all have different thoughts and opinions and that’s OK.

Well these ladies felt the need to tell me I was going to regret my decision. Breast best. Or tell me that I’m doing something wrong, and that’s why I feel the way I feel.

At first I kept my reasoning personal. But as the post went on I started to admit that “I’m basing this decision on my mental and physical health.” A couple moms were awesome. They jumped on in defensive in true momma bear style and tried to help.

Those are my kind of gals!!

We need more women like this in our world. We need more moms who are kind and accepting. Nowadays it feels like moms are trying to step into some identity they feel they should.

Like those videos you see online of “I’m a messy mom. My hair is always up in a bun, my house is never clean, my kids have an iPad, a we eat junk!” Or the “I’m an organic mom. We go on nature walks, and eat only organic, and my kids don’t have any electronic devices” Honestly, the list could go on. I don’t understand why we feel the need to put ourselves into this little boxes in order to connect. We do not need to fit into a certain type of Mom to have mom friends. Just be who you are, and be accepting of each other. The “messy” mom can be friends with the “organic” mom without shaming her for caring a bunch about what foods her kid eats. And vice versa.

Being a mother is not a competition, despite it being made to seem like it is.

We are all just trying to raise good kids, and do what we think is best. And that is a hard job. Every single aspect of being a parent is a decision. And after the decision is made it takes selflessness, consistency, and dedication to those choices.

One of the hard choices I was faced with was choosing to quit breastfeeding. It was a hard choice. I’m struggling with my depression right now. I’m having to make the choice to take care of myself better so I can take care of her. I love my daughter enough to not force myself to suffer just because society says I should. Because some mom on a Facebook group is telling me that I’m going to regret it. A mom in my defense made the comment that She was in the same boat. And if she hadn’t made the choice she might not be here.

It is THAT serious. Mental health is so important. I’ve stressed that a hundred times or more on this blog, and on my social media. But I too got caught up in my own personal expectations and didn’t take more time to check in with myself. To make sure I’m still honoring my body and mind.

I may be a little late on doing that because I’ve begun to fall into this depression. But I’m picking up the pieces now. I’m implementing my counter triggers. I am trying.

I have to say that I already feel a bit better. Now that I made the choice to quit breastfeeding, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. And I’m looking forward to loving my body again.

I’m not blindly optimistic at all. I know this is a process and depression doesn’t just go away as quick as it came on. It’s going to take time and effort on my part. But I’m going to try.

If you’re struggling with being a mom, or adequacy, or heck if you just want more non-judegmental Mom friends, please reach out! I’m mostly on Instagram: taylorreneeduarte. You can send me a message anytime!

– Taylor

Xoxo